This has always been a question that I have struggled with over the years. At times I seem to get so close to understanding but then it seems to slip away. I believe that God is using this endeavor to show me how simple it really is. God is not out there to trick you, play a game of cat and mouse or follow the bread crumbs. We humans, as usual, seem to make things much more difficult and confusing than they really are. The problem comes when we try to find answers outside of God's words. God has given us a very clear road map that is really quite easy to follow, but we so often go in the wrong direction when our eyes are looking elsewhere. When ever I have a question I must go back to Him and inevitably He shows me the answer. What is most profound, is that His teaching and guiding is so gentle and subtle that you don't really know what has happened until you look back and see from where you have come.
I think I can bullet this answer within just a couple verses in the bible:
Deut. 10:12-13
..what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear (reverence or awe) the lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good.
Romans 12:1-2
..offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Basically, when you live for God totally, you instinctively make decisions that honor Him. The closer I am to Him, the more obvious it is when a "distraction" tries to pull my attention elsewhere.
So how do you know God's will?:
You don't look for the will of God. If you are yielding yourselves to God as a full living sacrifice, God's will finds you.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Why does adoption cost so much?
I used to get very angry when faced with the cost of an adoption. The cost is similar whether it is international or domestic. The only way you can avoid it is to go with your local county social services. (This is how we got Konrad) The bottom line is that people need to be paid for their services. When I was a teacher I expected to be paid in my job. David has to support us as a family, he needs to be paid a living wage to do this. Everyone here in the states and in Haiti have families to support and they all need to make a living. What is unfortunate about the cost of adoption is that there are not many grants or scholarships out there for people like us. It would be wonderful if governments would designate money to support private adoptions whether they be domestic or international, but even then, Konrad's entire adoption was paid for by our government. So no matter how you slice it, it is an expensive process and that cost has to fall somewhere.
Once I found out why the cost is so high I being to see that there is really no way around it. The agency we are working with (Chinese Children Adoption International) is a non-profit organizations as is the orphanage in Haiti. They have been fantastic in clearly outlining the cost of each part of this adoption. Many of the other agencies I researched before did not do this and the cost was some nebulous number. I could never figure out where the money went or why. This is not the case with CCAI and I will list a general overview of the costs below.
Initial Application Fee: $150 ($200-500 less than the others I looked at)
First Agency Fee: $4,000
(This includes orientation, Home study, USCIS filing, Dossier prep. translation and administration)
Second Agency Fee: $800
(State required parent training, international communication and trip planning)
Post adoption Fee: $450
(Post adoption support)
Haiti Processing Fees: $4,375
(Psychological evaluation, lawyers fees, passport, translation, court fees, social history of child, social worker fees, etc)
Child support: $5,000 - broken into monthly payments.
(This is money that goes directly to the child for their physical/social/mental health)
Travel: $3,000 - $5,000
Extras: $3,000 - $8,000
(This can include anything from DNA testing, psychological exam, home maintenance adjustments required by the home study etc.)
We have budgeted on the high end of things and are trusting God to provide exactly what we need when we need it.
Once I found out why the cost is so high I being to see that there is really no way around it. The agency we are working with (Chinese Children Adoption International) is a non-profit organizations as is the orphanage in Haiti. They have been fantastic in clearly outlining the cost of each part of this adoption. Many of the other agencies I researched before did not do this and the cost was some nebulous number. I could never figure out where the money went or why. This is not the case with CCAI and I will list a general overview of the costs below.
Initial Application Fee: $150 ($200-500 less than the others I looked at)
First Agency Fee: $4,000
(This includes orientation, Home study, USCIS filing, Dossier prep. translation and administration)
Second Agency Fee: $800
(State required parent training, international communication and trip planning)
Post adoption Fee: $450
(Post adoption support)
Haiti Processing Fees: $4,375
(Psychological evaluation, lawyers fees, passport, translation, court fees, social history of child, social worker fees, etc)
Child support: $5,000 - broken into monthly payments.
(This is money that goes directly to the child for their physical/social/mental health)
Travel: $3,000 - $5,000
Extras: $3,000 - $8,000
(This can include anything from DNA testing, psychological exam, home maintenance adjustments required by the home study etc.)
We have budgeted on the high end of things and are trusting God to provide exactly what we need when we need it.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
A God of Miracles
I do not think the God of the Old and New Testament is any different today than back then. Unfortunately we live in such comfort, we have no need for God's divine intervention. We are completely self sufficient and can meet our own needs. It is not until we are completely helpless and cry out to Him, that we can begin to see His amazing works. A bumper sticker slogan that has been with me for years says: Do something for God while it is still impossible.
Haiti was and is impossible for us without God's divine intervention. The money is beyond our reach, the paperwork is like a full time job, and our child is being raised by others. In other words - God has to provide the money through others and alternative means, He has to constantly open the door to the various signatures, notaries and certificates we need, and to top it off, our daughter is being raised by angels. Everything about this process has to be given up to God. We have very little control over it.
I am beginning to see that all three of our children clearly exhibit the hand of God. Yesterday, Monday, we decided to send the donation letter one day early. Why wait we thought. All four of us gathered around the computer and prayed that God provide the money we need to bring Oslene home to us. Then Saxton sat on my lap, we counted down from 5 and sent the email off into space. We then went grocery shopping and when we got home Konrad asked if the mail had come. He went out, got it and handed it over to David. While I put the groceries away I heard David gasp. I asked him what had happened, thinking we had gotten another speeding ticket in the mail. He handed me a check that had come to us that was more money then I could have ever imagined. It completley took the financial pressure off for the next two months. On the check was a little sticky note saying: Here is some of God's money for His child. It brought me to tears. I then showed Konrad, and told him that God had heard our prayer. He said, "How did God know how to answer that so fast?"
We still have a long road ahead, but now God has given me a new verse.
2 Chronicles 20:15 - You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.
Haiti was and is impossible for us without God's divine intervention. The money is beyond our reach, the paperwork is like a full time job, and our child is being raised by others. In other words - God has to provide the money through others and alternative means, He has to constantly open the door to the various signatures, notaries and certificates we need, and to top it off, our daughter is being raised by angels. Everything about this process has to be given up to God. We have very little control over it.
I am beginning to see that all three of our children clearly exhibit the hand of God. Yesterday, Monday, we decided to send the donation letter one day early. Why wait we thought. All four of us gathered around the computer and prayed that God provide the money we need to bring Oslene home to us. Then Saxton sat on my lap, we counted down from 5 and sent the email off into space. We then went grocery shopping and when we got home Konrad asked if the mail had come. He went out, got it and handed it over to David. While I put the groceries away I heard David gasp. I asked him what had happened, thinking we had gotten another speeding ticket in the mail. He handed me a check that had come to us that was more money then I could have ever imagined. It completley took the financial pressure off for the next two months. On the check was a little sticky note saying: Here is some of God's money for His child. It brought me to tears. I then showed Konrad, and told him that God had heard our prayer. He said, "How did God know how to answer that so fast?"
We still have a long road ahead, but now God has given me a new verse.
2 Chronicles 20:15 - You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
God, I Need To Know You Are Here
I sit here at my computer at 11:15 at night plagued with fear. This afternoon I printed out the 35 page Dossier requirements that I must prepare to send to Haiti. To say the task is daunting is an understatement. In the meantime I look at little Oslene's pictures hung all around our house and wonder: Where are you right now? Who comforts you when you cry? Are you eating well? Who are you?
While we are buried under a Mount Everest of paperwork, she sits waiting in an orphanage. It is almost enough to drive one out of their mind. All I have to hold on to right now is the verse that God has given me over the past few weeks. I have heard it at least 5 different times in 5 totally different settings that were completely unrelated to each other. Some may call that chance, I call it communication:
Isaiah 40:27 -31
Why do you say, (Shushawn), and complain that "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
While we are buried under a Mount Everest of paperwork, she sits waiting in an orphanage. It is almost enough to drive one out of their mind. All I have to hold on to right now is the verse that God has given me over the past few weeks. I have heard it at least 5 different times in 5 totally different settings that were completely unrelated to each other. Some may call that chance, I call it communication:
Isaiah 40:27 -31
Why do you say, (Shushawn), and complain that "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God?" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
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