A Deeper Faith

In my prayer time today, I was going over yesterday's lesson and wanted to put it out there. Over the past few days several people have brought up the Abraham and Isaac story to me. Some have shown me several analysis of the words and how Abraham said "we will be back" (or something like that) How it was as contradiction. God promised Abraham and therefor Abraham knew that God would not take his son etc. I don't know what the commentaries say on it but this is what has struck me so profound and is what I believe God is teaching me right now. I touched on it yesterday.

I was wondering if Abraham was credited as righteous because he said "Here I am." and obeyed. Maybe he did not think of what God's outcome was going to be because he trusted that "God would work for the good of those who love Him." He knew the promises God had made him, and trusted God would fulfil those promises, but maybe he had no idea how that was going to happen nor did he have any expectations. He just put Isaac in God's hands. It is a fine line and I hope I am making myself clear.

I relate it to my situation this way. I have put Oslene in God's hands. I have from the beginning. I have had no control and have even less control right now. But even through all that I "had faith" that God would bring her to me. "I had faith" that God would keep her from harm. In my mind I had already seen the outcome of MY faith. See how that is backward. God gave us this promise: "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " We know this is true because God said it. He didn't say have faith and this thing that you think will happen is going to happen.

I have to do as Abraham did and say "Here I am Lord". (Going to God) and then take the next step in obedience to Him. It is not my job nor my place to see 15 steps down the road and expect that from God because I said Here I am and stepped out in faith. All I do is take the next step and wait on God. In one way this is profoundly comforting and in another way it is terrifying.

We may have been called to step out in faith, to choose Oslene, to pray for her, to support her financially and take every other step that has gone on in this process. But God never promised her to us. (Now I pray every day that he brings her here, but that is prayer, it can not be expectation) And if God never brings her here I have to trust in His promise in Romans 8:28. Trust that it is a far bigger picture than I could ever see and it is not my place to see it. It is my place to say here I am lord and take the next step. Nothing more. I hope that makes sense. It is hard hard lesson.

When the Rubber Meets The Road

Your prayers and encouragement have broken the blanket of despair and hopelessness that I have felt so profoundly over the past two days. I have such a sense of joy, peace and anticipation I can not even tell you how profound it is. Yesterday, I cried out to God to tell me something, anything, I just needed to know that He was there and in this. I have come to a point in my walk of faith were there rubber meets the road. What is it I really believe. Do I believe in the God of miracles or do I put down my bible and walk away. Seeing only chaos and destruction. An act of cruel chance.

Over and over I heard the same message. "Do you trust me?" "I have brought her this far, I will carry her to the end."

I believe God spoke through several of you yesterday. Reassuring me that not only was she alive, but she was unharmed. Here is a short list of miracles that has already happened and we don't even know the half of it:

1. Oslene was brought into the orphanage extremely malnourished and is now thriving
2. Because of a "computer glitch" her picture was not posted on the adoption agency website and I was the first one who got to see her picture through other means.
3. I was called to pray for her mother and her before I even knew they existed.
4. We have received all the money necessary to pay for everything that has been needed. Totalling over $10,000
5. Oslene's orphanage was on Delmas road, one of the hardest hit areas where all the buildings "pancaked" on top of themselves, and her building remains standing.
6. Not only was everyone spared, but not one child was even INJURED. Not even mildly hurt.
7. Pierre, the director of the orphanage was able to call out to the FHG offices within 20 minutes of the earthquake. (Our adoption agency sent out an email to all of us, but many us did not receive it until a few hours later)

I am sure we will hear of many more miracles as time goes by. I must remember who He is and remember what He has done. This does not even include Konrad or Saxton and the miracles that occurred within their little lives. Just as Saxton likes to sing: My God is so BIG, so Strong and so mighty there's nothing my God can not do.

The whole world has turned their attention toward this tiny tiny little country where our daughter lives, offering huge amounts of support of all kinds. This tiny country has a chance to rebuild and to once again be the Pearl of the Caribbean.

I have one request. If there is anyone out there who can draw, I would love to have a picture for Oslene's scrapbook. a picture of the orphanage, and all around the orphanage are angels holding up the walls and inside the orphanage there are angles who's wings are covering each child. Thinking of this gives me an immense sense of peace. I would love to be able to depict it visually for Oslene. (unfortunately I can not draw anything but stick figures and that just doesn't convey the same message(<; )

Continue praying. We have a long way to go and there is still no word. The last we heard from them was Tuesday 20 minutes after the quake. Those little ones still need a whole lot of protection.

Faith is is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Praise God for His indescribable love and compassion!